


who can say why your heart cries

by Mildredo



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-25
Updated: 2017-05-25
Packaged: 2018-11-04 21:57:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10999800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mildredo/pseuds/Mildredo
Summary: Amy goes home after the verdict.





	who can say why your heart cries

After the verdict they went to the bar and fit too comfortably into a booth. It should've been a tighter squeeze. There should've been two more bodies squishing together. They should’ve been celebrating.  
  
There was nothing to celebrate.  
  
They mourned and fumed and drank because it was all there was to do. Charles and Amy hugged for too long, sniffling against the other’s shoulder. Gina stared quietly into her orange juice like a genie was going to pop out of the glass and give her two wishes. Terry held his head in his hands, lifting it only to take huge, long gulps of beer. Holt tried to give an impassioned speech about their not giving up, but his voice cracked with emotion and he gave up, downed his scotch, and ordered the next round.

\---

  
It's wrong. Everything is wrong. The apartment is too quiet, too empty. It's dark but Amy can't bring herself to turn on the light. She stumbles over something in the middle of the living room and she realizes as she picks the object up that it’s one of Jake’s sneakers. She noticed him leave them in the middle of the room this morning, and on a normal day she would’ve asked him to move them but it seemed inconsequential today. It all seems inconsequential now. She finds the other shoe, puts them neatly on the rack, and kind of hates that a pair of grubby, well-worn shoes have made her cry.  
  
She hates that she can’t turn the light on because then she’ll see the Die Hard DVDs beside the TV and the coffee mug he left on the table and the hundreds, thousands of other tiny things that have built up over the past few months to turn her apartment into theirs. And if she sees those things right now she’s going to lose it, and her head is spinning from the day and the alcohol and maybe if she can navigate through the darkness into the bedroom she’ll fall asleep and wake up to find that this was all the worst nightmare she’s ever had. It beats the giant purple crocodiles attacking New York and eating her family nightmare from when she was seven hands down.  
  
Once the bedroom door closes, Amy throws on Jake’s pajamas and scrapes her hair back. She curls into Jake’s side of the bed, where the mattress groove is a little wider and the pillow and the sheets smell like him, and she sobs. She cries until her stomach hurts, until she feels like she’s cracking open at the ribs. She screams into the pillow so she doesn’t wake the neighbors. She stares at the ceiling and whispers prayers to a God she was raised with, but doesn’t always believe in.  
  
Tomorrow, the squad will reconvene and figure out a plan and start their fight to free Jake and Rosa. Tomorrow, Amy will have lunch at Karen’s house, keep her updated on the case and hug her hard when she has to leave. Tomorrow, the work begins. And they won’t stop, not for a second, until they’re exonerated and their family is back together.  
  
Tomorrow, they take their first steps to getting them home.  
  
Tonight, Amy cries and prays and screams until her exhausted body can’t take it any more and she falls asleep. Maybe tomorrow, it’ll all have been a bad dream.


End file.
